Post by ash on Nov 6, 2016 0:56:45 GMT
CLOVERHEART of WINDCLAN
SHE-CAT
THIRTY MOONS
CLAN
WARRIOR
FLAME POINT & BLUE EYES
CALM
APPEARANCE
It is said that eyes are the window's to the soul, and this couldn't be more correct when talking about Cloverheart. Her pale blue eyes hold a lot of emotion for her. Rimmed in dark blue, her eyes are probably one of her more striking features. While her long fur is mostly white, she holds a pale orange tabby marking on her face, ears, and tail. While her form is lithe like her clan mates, her longer fur tends to hide the fact that she is just as wirey as the next WindClan cat. Her face has delicate features that sit below large ears that she uses for tracking her prey. Her tail is quite long for her body, and her paws are small, adding to her agility during the hunt.
PERSONALITY
Cloverheart has been nothing but calm for as long as she could remember. Of course, as a kit and apprentice she still played games and got excited for new events, but her level-headedness surpassed even a cat older than she was. She was rational and benevolent at every turn, and tried all she could to keep her wits about her. The she-cat is also quite cheerful, and tends to be happy most of the time, if not consistantly.
Despite this, Colverheart is quite dependant on those she calls her friends and family. She hates to be alone, and seeks out to befriend everyone in the clan. She tends to be submissive, allowing other cats to take the lead. She is always happy to offer her opinion if asked, but doesn't tend to interject otherwise. Her dependancy can turn into possessiveness over certain cats. While her level-headedness tries to keep it undercontrol, she can become quite jealous despite every effort to refrain.
Despite this, Colverheart is quite dependant on those she calls her friends and family. She hates to be alone, and seeks out to befriend everyone in the clan. She tends to be submissive, allowing other cats to take the lead. She is always happy to offer her opinion if asked, but doesn't tend to interject otherwise. Her dependancy can turn into possessiveness over certain cats. While her level-headedness tries to keep it undercontrol, she can become quite jealous despite every effort to refrain.
HISTORY
you were born on the first dawn of new-leaf to a beautiful orange color point she-cat. she was an easy going she-cat, though her passion for the clan was strong. her true calling had always been to be a warrior of the clan, but when you fall in love it's easy to forget your dreams; even just for a moment. every time a patrol left the camp her blue eyes flashed with envy. she wanted to feel useful, no matter what she was doing. caring for kits tired her out more than she cared to admit, and when you and your brother played in the nursery she would just stare out into the camp, waiting for your father to come back and deliver any amount of news so that she felt as though she was still a part of something. she wasn't always distant of course. she had a great pride in her kits that boosted her energy just enough to teach you both simple fighting and hunting moves; a pounce and grab here and there, as countless kits had done before. you begged her daily to continue training, but she could only find energy to teach on her time.
your father was more stoic; a well respected tom in the clan and moons older than your mother. he bought your affection by bringing you and your brother some of the best prey, and fresh moss balls every day. you weren't surprised or upset with him; he had better things to do. the leader would consult with him due to his moons of experience within the clan and you were proud to call him your father. he was impressive to say the least, and you could always pick out his flaming orange pelt from the usual grey and brown hues of the other cats. you both always got caught under his paws, but his patience never waned. he was an ever-present neutral warrior in your life, and you welcomed the calm to your storm.
you were always much more quiet than your brother, cloudkit. leaving the nursery without fear was always an issue for you, and your passion drove you to seek out new adventures every day. in this way, your mother and yourself were never kindred spirits. when she took the time to slow down, she would tell you stories from her own adventures, and it filled you with even more passion and drive. you were itching to be an apprentice, but you could wait forever to leave the safety of the camp.
there was only a single time that you had ever seen your mother and father worried. cloudkit had somehow convinced you to travel outside of the camp. he had it planned perfectly; your mother had settled in the heart of the camp to await your fathers return, and the other queens were busy with their own kits. it was really just a few pawsteps before your mother found you, and your father ordered you back to camp. luckily, you didn't get in trouble at all. it was the one time that your fathers status was used to help you instead of hinder you. the look on their faces as relief washed over their faces upon finding you was not one you would soon forget. it was the driving force that told you that you wanted to mother kits one day; perhaps not soon, but one day.
-----
your apprentice ceremony was an exciting day, and you couldn't keep still for anything. you and cloudkit played warriors all day, attacking moss balls as though they were enemies to the clan attempting to enter the heart of the camp. it was exhilarating, and your mother let you play as much as you wanted. it was an exciting day for her as well, as she would finally be able to return to her warrior duties. you could tell it made her happier than anything had the past few moons, and somehow that made you happy as well. cloudpaw got his name first, having been older than you by a mere few seconds. when you stepped up to the leader to receive your own name your whiskers wouldn't stop shaking. all you kept thinking was that all great warriors started out as -paws, and you could be a great one yet.
you received oatwhisker as your mentor, a golden tom with long curly fur. he was more similar to your outgoing brother than yourself, but you didn't mind. the two of you fell into a comfortable banter on day one, and it carried throughout your apprenticeship. you wanted to see and do everything, and oatwhisker blazed a trail ahead of you. the younger warrior wasn't exceptional at anything, but his confidence was something to be admired.
you would never realize how tiring it could be for a new apprentice, barely out of the nursery, to travel to all ends of windclan territory and back to camp before nightfall. you were never quite as fast as oatwhisker, but he always patiently padded beside you no matter how long it took you to scale over the rocks or pick up scent on the abandoned badger set. you realized quickly that they assigned the tom to you because he was much more patient of your withdrawn personality. you were labeled as weak, but oatwhisker always stood by your side with the grace and wisdom of a much older cat.
you picked up on hunting techniques much better than you did fighting techniques. try as you might, you struggled daily with not being quite rough enough. cloudpaw on the other hand, excelled at fighting. he was acrobatic in his technique and you felt just a little jealous, and a bit inadequate when measured against him. fighting was passed down in your family as the more masculine of the two skills, and cloudpaw had a sudden connection with your father that you would never quite manage before his death. to throw a wrench in the whole thing, cloudpaw struggled with even a more simple hunting technique, and it made you nervous. the final exam was primarily about hunting and how well you knew windclan territory, and your brother often talked about how he was worried he wouldn't make the cut in the end.
it wasn't long before the day of your exam that the deputy announced that there would be a head hunt for a badger that was scented just over the windclan border during the morning patrol. cloudpaw immediately asked to go, and your brothers mentor agreed that he was more than ready. you felt just a pang of jealousy as your brother and father rushed off to handle the badger. between the five of them and some quick thinking on cloudpaw's part, the badger was chased off. your father sustained the only injury, which got infected and resulted in his death only a moon after their warrior ceremony.
cloudpaw received his warrior name not but three days before you, being renamed cloudclaw for his fighting skills. your mother and father were proud of their quiet kit, and you found yourself being proud of him too. after all, you weren't going to be too far behind him.
-----
cloverheart; you reveled in the simplicity of the name. your hunting tactics where impressive, and they caught the eye of the leader at the very least. ____star picked the name after the deputy told them of your skill and confidence during the exam. your brother on the other hand, received the name cloudclaw due to his exceptional fighting ability. you were proud of your brother, but hoped that you were just a little more well-rounded of a warrior. you were so awful at fighting that it was almost crippling. it was made painfully clear that you would never be a great fighter, but you were determined to improve no matter the cost. long after you gained your warrior name you continued to train with oatwhisker.
your vigil was lonely, your brother having performed his a few sunrises before you. you were lucky to find your vigil in leaf-fall, and the air was crisp and the scents were beautiful. it was hard to stay awake all night but you used the long hours to connect with starclan. it was on that night that you realized that without starclan you would have never become the cat that you were that night, nor the cat you turned into. passionate and excitable; you were an amazing hunter. you were only ten moons old when your vigil was complete, and one of the younger warriors in windclan.
oatwhisker had been fourteen moons when she received you as an apprentice, but he was still young. his outgoing attitude attracted you in a way that you didn't think possible. the golden tom was excited and cheerful at all times, but there was always a flash of pride in his eyes when he talked about the clan. between patrols and battle training, you two were never apart, and your love grew like flowers after new-leaf showers. the bond between yourself and cloudclaw became more distant, but you knew it was required in order to grow as warriors. no matter what you did, or how frustrating you got, oatwhisker was next to you like a bright sun, just as he was when you were an apprentice.
the day that you announced your love to him was the most exciting thing you had done. all of the adventures you had gone on were never as nerve wracking as telling oatwhisker how you felt. his amber gaze was all you needed to know he felt the same way, and it was on that date that you became mates. your brother and mother were happy for you, and you were too happy to realize that eventually oatwhisker would need more than one friend. you were too jealous to see that his feelings were only platonic until you would push him away. for you, nothing else mattered but how you felt now, and how he needed only you to be happy.
you were sixteen moons old when you were given your first apprentice. she looked more like four moons, than six moons. her mother had named her smallpaw, and rightfully so. she was similar to you in many ways, and you both often argued with one another about trivial issues. luckily for you, you never had given up on fighting techniques. your performance of them was lackluster, but you knew every bit of knowledge behind them. your instruction was flawless, and smallpaw's performance was as well. you could never quite get her on the same page for hunting, but you were proud none the less. despite each obstacle you met with the black she-cat, you always came together at the end of each day.
two moons into training smallpaw, oatwhisker gained a second apprentice; a large grey tom named Rockpaw. despite his size he was shy, rarely joining a conversation without being provoked. the two apprentices couldn't have been more different, and couldn't have been any more friendly toward each other. smallpaw was his shelter, and rockpaw was her calm. they were together just as often as yourself and oatwhisker, and you couldn't have asked for a better result. you trained the two apprentices together, in sync. the day that smallpaw got her warrior name was one you would never forget.
the four of you had been on a patrol to the riverclan border, a typical task. rookstorm was the fifth cat on the patrol, though he was more or less in the lead as he was the most senior warrior. you remember very clearly warning the two apprentices to stop playing by the gorge, time and time again. their bodies just seemed magnetized to it. no matter how often they would float away from the edge, they always seemed to end up back again. the sickening crunch of earth beneath a paw was the first sign that something was wrong. smallpaw's voice shrieked out before you could turn your head, and in the blur of the motion, you saw rockpaw's body hanging off the ledge, his claws deep into the ground. before you could even reach the two apprentices, smallpaw's claws found the skin on rockpaw's shoulders, and with a surprising amount of strength, the she-cat pulled the much large tom up on to the flat ground, and away from the gorges deep depths.
the day she became smallstorm was a proud moment for you. she was still the smallest she-cat in her group to get promoted, but she had grown in size and as a warrior since you received her as an apprentice almost five moons ago. at the end of the day, was oatwhisker and rockpaw, just as excited as the two of you were for her to get her warrior name. while there were tears on smallstorm's part, due to her departure from the apprentices den and from her shared nest with rockpaw, it was a new journey for you and oatwhisker. it was the first night that you shared a nest together, and the first night that he proclaimed his love to you in return. you couldn't help but fall into a deep sleep after that; having never felt more happy in your life.
you were about twenty moons old when the deputy announced his retirement. you had your eyes on the position, but of course you were a bit too young. tansystar announced that rookstorm would be taking over the deputy position. you immediately disliked the idea of having to follow rookstorm's every order. she was a good leader, but her aggression left her with a penchant for going just a bit too far. rookstorm had been involved in a boarder skirmish and the old deputy himself had pulled her off of the riverclan cat. it was never determined how far rookstorm had gone, but by the sound of it, she had almost killed another cat.
it was around this time that oatwhisker started to befriend the new deputy, talking more and more to him as the days went by. you became jealous, and couldn't help but think that he would prefer to be with the black she-cat. you brought up arguments and issues of the past for no apparent reason. oatwhisker was a level-headed tom, and always asked why you were bringing it up, and why you were feeling this way. despite his calmness, your inadequacies raged a storm within you every time you saw them sharing-tongues or going on walks outside of the camp. you knew oatwhisker was loyal to you, but it hurt you.
you started to realize that the thing that you feared the most had come to pass; oatwhisker fell for rookstorm. you began to find peace slowly, first getting back to your duties, and preforming them with a smile on your face, even if it was forced.
you found friendship again in your brother, cloudclaw. the white tom was never gentle with his words, but he made you realize what got you to this point.
you watched silently as oatwhisker and rookstorm became closer. you tried to be happy for the tom, knowing full well that he deserved happiness. it wasn't long before they started sharing a nest, and you tried to pass him occasional smiles. every time you did, your eyes became pools of sadness, and he padded away from you. you started to think that your friendship could never be repaired, and you would have to be without it for the rest of your life.
you received another apprentice as you turned twenty-five moons old; a short-haired red tom named foxpaw. he was completely different from smallstorm; her specialty had always been battle tactics. foxpaw was good with knowledge and awful at execution. he could come up with new battle moves and hunting strategies with minimal effort, and couldn't preform them to save his life. you were nervous for him unsure if he would ever receive his warrior name. it was hard for cats like him, who couldn't execute ideas, to become warriors. you had seen it time and time again.
you could never quite bond with foxpaw; just another regret to add to the table. you had wanted so much for it to feel just like smallstorm's, though you could do without the fights you were always getting into. foxpaw had a hard time connecting with other cats in general, and had few friends besides his sister, who he stuck to like glue when she was around. you tried everything you could think of, and still five moons later, you could not make any progress in a positive direction. foxpaw could remember every little thing, from tactics to a photographic memory. it was a shame that he couldn't follow through.
you still rememeber everything about the day rookstorm announced her pregnancy. you were thirty moons old, and she was absolutely glowing. her crazy black fur was beautiful as the suns rays touched down upon it. you tried to feel happy for her; she looked so happy. you knew that she had always wanted to be a mother, just as oatwhisker had always wanted to be a father. you had just always assumed that it would be yourself and oatwhisker, and perfect. instead you were separate, and you felt so incredibly empty that you knew you couldn't congratulate her. it would sound fake, and mocking. you didn't want it to be that way. you never wanted to be that way.
before leaf-bare had finished, foxpaw had fallen to greencough, leaving you without an apprentice once again. you felt regret for all of the things you had and hadn't done, but you knew that you had to continue on. as leaf-bare ushered in a glorious new-leaf.
you still want to become a mother eventully, but you know that you must choose a mate carefully. until you fall in love again, you want more than anything to help your clan in every way that you can.
your father was more stoic; a well respected tom in the clan and moons older than your mother. he bought your affection by bringing you and your brother some of the best prey, and fresh moss balls every day. you weren't surprised or upset with him; he had better things to do. the leader would consult with him due to his moons of experience within the clan and you were proud to call him your father. he was impressive to say the least, and you could always pick out his flaming orange pelt from the usual grey and brown hues of the other cats. you both always got caught under his paws, but his patience never waned. he was an ever-present neutral warrior in your life, and you welcomed the calm to your storm.
you were always much more quiet than your brother, cloudkit. leaving the nursery without fear was always an issue for you, and your passion drove you to seek out new adventures every day. in this way, your mother and yourself were never kindred spirits. when she took the time to slow down, she would tell you stories from her own adventures, and it filled you with even more passion and drive. you were itching to be an apprentice, but you could wait forever to leave the safety of the camp.
there was only a single time that you had ever seen your mother and father worried. cloudkit had somehow convinced you to travel outside of the camp. he had it planned perfectly; your mother had settled in the heart of the camp to await your fathers return, and the other queens were busy with their own kits. it was really just a few pawsteps before your mother found you, and your father ordered you back to camp. luckily, you didn't get in trouble at all. it was the one time that your fathers status was used to help you instead of hinder you. the look on their faces as relief washed over their faces upon finding you was not one you would soon forget. it was the driving force that told you that you wanted to mother kits one day; perhaps not soon, but one day.
-----
your apprentice ceremony was an exciting day, and you couldn't keep still for anything. you and cloudkit played warriors all day, attacking moss balls as though they were enemies to the clan attempting to enter the heart of the camp. it was exhilarating, and your mother let you play as much as you wanted. it was an exciting day for her as well, as she would finally be able to return to her warrior duties. you could tell it made her happier than anything had the past few moons, and somehow that made you happy as well. cloudpaw got his name first, having been older than you by a mere few seconds. when you stepped up to the leader to receive your own name your whiskers wouldn't stop shaking. all you kept thinking was that all great warriors started out as -paws, and you could be a great one yet.
you received oatwhisker as your mentor, a golden tom with long curly fur. he was more similar to your outgoing brother than yourself, but you didn't mind. the two of you fell into a comfortable banter on day one, and it carried throughout your apprenticeship. you wanted to see and do everything, and oatwhisker blazed a trail ahead of you. the younger warrior wasn't exceptional at anything, but his confidence was something to be admired.
you would never realize how tiring it could be for a new apprentice, barely out of the nursery, to travel to all ends of windclan territory and back to camp before nightfall. you were never quite as fast as oatwhisker, but he always patiently padded beside you no matter how long it took you to scale over the rocks or pick up scent on the abandoned badger set. you realized quickly that they assigned the tom to you because he was much more patient of your withdrawn personality. you were labeled as weak, but oatwhisker always stood by your side with the grace and wisdom of a much older cat.
you picked up on hunting techniques much better than you did fighting techniques. try as you might, you struggled daily with not being quite rough enough. cloudpaw on the other hand, excelled at fighting. he was acrobatic in his technique and you felt just a little jealous, and a bit inadequate when measured against him. fighting was passed down in your family as the more masculine of the two skills, and cloudpaw had a sudden connection with your father that you would never quite manage before his death. to throw a wrench in the whole thing, cloudpaw struggled with even a more simple hunting technique, and it made you nervous. the final exam was primarily about hunting and how well you knew windclan territory, and your brother often talked about how he was worried he wouldn't make the cut in the end.
it wasn't long before the day of your exam that the deputy announced that there would be a head hunt for a badger that was scented just over the windclan border during the morning patrol. cloudpaw immediately asked to go, and your brothers mentor agreed that he was more than ready. you felt just a pang of jealousy as your brother and father rushed off to handle the badger. between the five of them and some quick thinking on cloudpaw's part, the badger was chased off. your father sustained the only injury, which got infected and resulted in his death only a moon after their warrior ceremony.
cloudpaw received his warrior name not but three days before you, being renamed cloudclaw for his fighting skills. your mother and father were proud of their quiet kit, and you found yourself being proud of him too. after all, you weren't going to be too far behind him.
-----
cloverheart; you reveled in the simplicity of the name. your hunting tactics where impressive, and they caught the eye of the leader at the very least. ____star picked the name after the deputy told them of your skill and confidence during the exam. your brother on the other hand, received the name cloudclaw due to his exceptional fighting ability. you were proud of your brother, but hoped that you were just a little more well-rounded of a warrior. you were so awful at fighting that it was almost crippling. it was made painfully clear that you would never be a great fighter, but you were determined to improve no matter the cost. long after you gained your warrior name you continued to train with oatwhisker.
your vigil was lonely, your brother having performed his a few sunrises before you. you were lucky to find your vigil in leaf-fall, and the air was crisp and the scents were beautiful. it was hard to stay awake all night but you used the long hours to connect with starclan. it was on that night that you realized that without starclan you would have never become the cat that you were that night, nor the cat you turned into. passionate and excitable; you were an amazing hunter. you were only ten moons old when your vigil was complete, and one of the younger warriors in windclan.
oatwhisker had been fourteen moons when she received you as an apprentice, but he was still young. his outgoing attitude attracted you in a way that you didn't think possible. the golden tom was excited and cheerful at all times, but there was always a flash of pride in his eyes when he talked about the clan. between patrols and battle training, you two were never apart, and your love grew like flowers after new-leaf showers. the bond between yourself and cloudclaw became more distant, but you knew it was required in order to grow as warriors. no matter what you did, or how frustrating you got, oatwhisker was next to you like a bright sun, just as he was when you were an apprentice.
the day that you announced your love to him was the most exciting thing you had done. all of the adventures you had gone on were never as nerve wracking as telling oatwhisker how you felt. his amber gaze was all you needed to know he felt the same way, and it was on that date that you became mates. your brother and mother were happy for you, and you were too happy to realize that eventually oatwhisker would need more than one friend. you were too jealous to see that his feelings were only platonic until you would push him away. for you, nothing else mattered but how you felt now, and how he needed only you to be happy.
you were sixteen moons old when you were given your first apprentice. she looked more like four moons, than six moons. her mother had named her smallpaw, and rightfully so. she was similar to you in many ways, and you both often argued with one another about trivial issues. luckily for you, you never had given up on fighting techniques. your performance of them was lackluster, but you knew every bit of knowledge behind them. your instruction was flawless, and smallpaw's performance was as well. you could never quite get her on the same page for hunting, but you were proud none the less. despite each obstacle you met with the black she-cat, you always came together at the end of each day.
two moons into training smallpaw, oatwhisker gained a second apprentice; a large grey tom named Rockpaw. despite his size he was shy, rarely joining a conversation without being provoked. the two apprentices couldn't have been more different, and couldn't have been any more friendly toward each other. smallpaw was his shelter, and rockpaw was her calm. they were together just as often as yourself and oatwhisker, and you couldn't have asked for a better result. you trained the two apprentices together, in sync. the day that smallpaw got her warrior name was one you would never forget.
the four of you had been on a patrol to the riverclan border, a typical task. rookstorm was the fifth cat on the patrol, though he was more or less in the lead as he was the most senior warrior. you remember very clearly warning the two apprentices to stop playing by the gorge, time and time again. their bodies just seemed magnetized to it. no matter how often they would float away from the edge, they always seemed to end up back again. the sickening crunch of earth beneath a paw was the first sign that something was wrong. smallpaw's voice shrieked out before you could turn your head, and in the blur of the motion, you saw rockpaw's body hanging off the ledge, his claws deep into the ground. before you could even reach the two apprentices, smallpaw's claws found the skin on rockpaw's shoulders, and with a surprising amount of strength, the she-cat pulled the much large tom up on to the flat ground, and away from the gorges deep depths.
the day she became smallstorm was a proud moment for you. she was still the smallest she-cat in her group to get promoted, but she had grown in size and as a warrior since you received her as an apprentice almost five moons ago. at the end of the day, was oatwhisker and rockpaw, just as excited as the two of you were for her to get her warrior name. while there were tears on smallstorm's part, due to her departure from the apprentices den and from her shared nest with rockpaw, it was a new journey for you and oatwhisker. it was the first night that you shared a nest together, and the first night that he proclaimed his love to you in return. you couldn't help but fall into a deep sleep after that; having never felt more happy in your life.
you were about twenty moons old when the deputy announced his retirement. you had your eyes on the position, but of course you were a bit too young. tansystar announced that rookstorm would be taking over the deputy position. you immediately disliked the idea of having to follow rookstorm's every order. she was a good leader, but her aggression left her with a penchant for going just a bit too far. rookstorm had been involved in a boarder skirmish and the old deputy himself had pulled her off of the riverclan cat. it was never determined how far rookstorm had gone, but by the sound of it, she had almost killed another cat.
it was around this time that oatwhisker started to befriend the new deputy, talking more and more to him as the days went by. you became jealous, and couldn't help but think that he would prefer to be with the black she-cat. you brought up arguments and issues of the past for no apparent reason. oatwhisker was a level-headed tom, and always asked why you were bringing it up, and why you were feeling this way. despite his calmness, your inadequacies raged a storm within you every time you saw them sharing-tongues or going on walks outside of the camp. you knew oatwhisker was loyal to you, but it hurt you.
you started to realize that the thing that you feared the most had come to pass; oatwhisker fell for rookstorm. you began to find peace slowly, first getting back to your duties, and preforming them with a smile on your face, even if it was forced.
you found friendship again in your brother, cloudclaw. the white tom was never gentle with his words, but he made you realize what got you to this point.
you watched silently as oatwhisker and rookstorm became closer. you tried to be happy for the tom, knowing full well that he deserved happiness. it wasn't long before they started sharing a nest, and you tried to pass him occasional smiles. every time you did, your eyes became pools of sadness, and he padded away from you. you started to think that your friendship could never be repaired, and you would have to be without it for the rest of your life.
you received another apprentice as you turned twenty-five moons old; a short-haired red tom named foxpaw. he was completely different from smallstorm; her specialty had always been battle tactics. foxpaw was good with knowledge and awful at execution. he could come up with new battle moves and hunting strategies with minimal effort, and couldn't preform them to save his life. you were nervous for him unsure if he would ever receive his warrior name. it was hard for cats like him, who couldn't execute ideas, to become warriors. you had seen it time and time again.
you could never quite bond with foxpaw; just another regret to add to the table. you had wanted so much for it to feel just like smallstorm's, though you could do without the fights you were always getting into. foxpaw had a hard time connecting with other cats in general, and had few friends besides his sister, who he stuck to like glue when she was around. you tried everything you could think of, and still five moons later, you could not make any progress in a positive direction. foxpaw could remember every little thing, from tactics to a photographic memory. it was a shame that he couldn't follow through.
you still rememeber everything about the day rookstorm announced her pregnancy. you were thirty moons old, and she was absolutely glowing. her crazy black fur was beautiful as the suns rays touched down upon it. you tried to feel happy for her; she looked so happy. you knew that she had always wanted to be a mother, just as oatwhisker had always wanted to be a father. you had just always assumed that it would be yourself and oatwhisker, and perfect. instead you were separate, and you felt so incredibly empty that you knew you couldn't congratulate her. it would sound fake, and mocking. you didn't want it to be that way. you never wanted to be that way.
before leaf-bare had finished, foxpaw had fallen to greencough, leaving you without an apprentice once again. you felt regret for all of the things you had and hadn't done, but you knew that you had to continue on. as leaf-bare ushered in a glorious new-leaf.
you still want to become a mother eventully, but you know that you must choose a mate carefully. until you fall in love again, you want more than anything to help your clan in every way that you can.
